By Alicia Gallon

Recently I read one of the most inspiring articles I have read in a long time. Written by whom you may ask? Somehow, this turns out to be an article that I wrote - this time last year. Reading an article written by myself reminded me of my goals and my love for racing. I was utterly amazed by positivity that had come from the inner depths of me. I was then forced to ask myself.... what happened to this athlete? What happened to this attitude, this positivity?

Going into this races season with more training hours under my belt then the previous year, I thought, hopefully this season will be as good if not better than last season. However, the start of this season has been much more of a bumpy road then I anticipated.

The biathletes started their race season off on the twenty-eighth of November, with six races in four weeks. The first race can be summarized with one word: crazzzy! Since it was the first North American Cup and Canmore seemed to be one of the only venues in Canada to have snow, there was not only every biathlete in Alberta present, but B.C., Quebec, Ontario, Saskatchewan and American biathletes all turned up for the season starter. With that many provinces present, this felt more like Nationals, than the first weekend of the season. None the less, the first race of the season was much more stressful than any normal season opener.

A week later, we found ourselves racing another North American Cup, however, this one also doubled as Nationals trials. Although there were fewer racers to turn up, there were still teams from B.C., Quebec and USA here racing. Considering this was Nationals trials, stress levels were high. Adding to the stress, that Sunday could be described as more than just a little chilly, having raced in -17 degree weather.

December 19th/20th was the third biathlon race of the season, and the second and final Nationals qualification races for Youth Men/Women categories and older. Biathlon Alberta qualification standards to attend Nationals is 85% or more based on your best three out of four races results. My biggest concern heading into these races; whether I qualified for Nationals or not, which are held in March, would be decided before I even opened my Christmas presents. That didn't leave much time to get into the swing of the season.

Under such stressful racing conditions, I have found myself little short of positivity lately. To keep myself inspired and interested I am always looking for new sources of motivation. Seemingly this motivation always seems to be something along the lines of ‘Ski like the entire national team is watching'. I use the wish to not look like a complete goof as motivation to do better. Sometimes this works. It has worked in the past, but sometimes, there is not enough energy inside me to care if I look like a goof. Then I think there must be a more powerful source of motivation.

From this I have learned sometimes it is not exterior inspiration you should be looking for, it should be inspiration that comes from within yourself, based on everything you dream of, wish for, and strive to be. This is what will get you through a rough patch.

Now, as my season progresses, I will strive to be the positive athlete I use to be.